I had left an outdoor table of a tiny pub where a wasted man in a suit tried to pick a fight with my friend and as he went to punch my friend, suit man fell under the table. I was stressed. I needed a pick me up and some sort of relief, so I got up and left the table and walked a few blocks down the street to get a vape.

I unwrapped the packet and held the vape to get a deep suck of some berry flavoured bullshit. As I did this, a guy I had seen around my area walked past me and shook his head in disgust and said you shouldn’t be doing that. I turned, feeling judged and said Hey I don’t usually do this…I uh…I don’t really buy these anymore…I know I should stop. I held out my hand in an act of politeness to introduce myself as a neighbour.

He stood still, stared at my outstretched arm and didn’t budge. He then met my eyes and said I only shake the hands of the lord. What? I said. He repeated himself. What do you meaaan? He looked up at the sky, pointed and said haven’t you heard?? and I said “heard what??” And then he said Jesus is coming.”

Suddenly, I was in unfamiliar territory. I was in no man’s land. The conversation delved into tobacco and weed and organic produce but it was all a blur. I then went ‘Hey, I just wanted to introduce myself as I’ve seen you around. He looked at me and said ‘maybe some other time’ and turned around and walked away. I went back to the table. The fight was over. But I felt great. I had a vape. And I had a run in with one of God’s true disciples. I immediately went home and designed a shitty shirt with I only shake the hands of the lord, as it stuck with me and I wanted to wear it around and hopefully run into him so I could point at the shirt and say hey this was you. I wore it around everyday and I never saw him while I was wearing it. One day, months later, he walked by me and did a double take. He said do I know you? I said yes, but you wouldn’t shake my hand.

He laughed, and pointed up at the sky and said yeah, that’s right I only shake this guy’s hand. I wasn’t wearing the shirt. It was my only regret. I never saw him again. This shitty t-shirt brand started from that conversation. It was just a joke, and he was the punchline.

So my friend, whoever you are and wherever you may be, thank you. You have inspired something in me that has opened up the heaven’s gates.

May God Bless U.